We’re back from spending the day yesterday at a small church in Franklin, KY. At first I was super excited and hopeful for it to work out. The location is wonderful–2 hours from home, 15 minutes from Bowling Green, 35 minutes from TN family. The community is nice, the people were loving and gracious, the house was workable, there was a decent hope of getting a good job with good benefits to supplement the income. All seemed great until the question and answer session last night. They brought up several inflammatory issues, and even though there were only ten or so people in attendance, the room was divided on every one, meaning some people were in disagreement with Clay on every one. None were issues that need divide fellowship, but they were issues that people for some reason are usually “do or die” on, and it was discouraging to see such a small group of people getting upset. It made us wonder how they are ever going to agree on a pastor, because it seemed like several people had the mindset that they would not call a pastor who disagreed with them on issue A, and the group itself doesn’t agree on issue A. I really struggled for awhile in the van when we first got going. I was really hoping that this one would be the one. I am weary of having doors cracked open for us to glance through and then being slammed shut again. I was frustrated that we had driven five hours one day and five hours the next, completely messed our kids bodies by traveling out of our time zone on the same night as the time change, throwing us two hours off, and that we had a five hour drive beginning at 9:00 pm and my poor tired husband would get only four hours of sleep before getting up and commuting an hour to go kill bugs this morning, and it seemed like all of that was for nothing. But after a little internal battle, I think I’ve been able to wrestle my emotions back down under control. We truly want what God wants. To me, the three possibilities that are still open right now (as far as we know) all have glaring negatives, but they all have their positives as well, and besides, who am I to be the one to determine what our blessing should look like? Do I trust in God? Absolutely. Do I understand why we would have to look through several doors to have them close on us? No, I don’t. Do I believe that not only is God teaching us but also working for our good right now? I cling to that. “Who has known the mind of the Lord or who has been His counselor?” “His thoughts are higher than my thoughts and His ways are higher than my ways.”
Work for us, Lord, while we wait for You. We will wait here. We are in no hurry to rush ahead of Your timing. We pray that You will work, and work quickly, and we trust in Your Sovereign goodness and timing as You do so. Still is my soul. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
An ending thought: We did learn one practical lesson this weekend: from now on Clay will travel to the initial interview with any subsequent churches alone. It is just too much for me emotionally and too hard on our kids to travel around and go strange places when nothing is going to come of it. Also, something to watch for on this blog in the near future: Ten pieces of advice for church search committees from a prospective minister’s wife!