Last night as we were watching TV, my husband randomly commented that lately it seems like everyone feels qualified to give fashion advice. I’m not sure exactly what he was talking about, but it got me to thinking, and I decided I’m qualified, too. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for almost five years now, and I’ve learned quite a bit that I will now pass on.
* The most obvious, dress for comfort. Your baby doesn’t care what you look like, and you will spend most of your day running to get her out of cabinets and off of furniture that she doesn’t need to be on.
* Choose colors that go well with dried oatmeal, peanut butter, Cheeto residue, and yes, various bodily fluids. You will be coated with these things by day’s end.
* Make sure you have at least three or four weeks worth of shirts. No matter what your laundry habits used to be before you had kids (I used to wear a shirt two or three times before washing it), you will need to wash each shirt after only one wearing (see above), but you will not get around to doing laundry all that often. So stock up.
* Choose pants that go with more than one shirt. Sometimes you won’t even make it through the day without having to change (again, see above).
* Please, please, please make sure that when you bend over or squat down, your pants stay where they are supposed to. I know it’s all the rage right now to wear pants low around your hips, but as a mommy you will spend lots of time bending or squatting, and it’s not very pleasurable to see a half moon in the library playroom. I know, I saw two just this morning.
* If you’re wearing a skirt or pants with an elastic waist, make sure that they can stand up to tugging. When your baby wants to be held, she will communicate by reaching up and tugging, and we don’t want any clothes to come falling down. (Yes, I’m speaking from experience, but we were just at home, don’t worry.)
* If you have a prissy daughter like I do, choose skirts that go all the way to the floor. This way you’re guaranteed an, “Oooh, Mommy! I love your skirt! It touches the floor!” To her, this is the height of elegance.
I probably won’t be asked to be interviewed on the Today Show anytime soon, but in my opinion, these are the fashion tips that work. Spend a few days at my house and see if you don’t agree.