Today is my birthday. I am 29. I am climbing that hill, right? I don’t know where I pictured my life at age 29, but I’m quite sure that it wasn’t here, six hours from “home” with four tiny tots and still waiting to see what we’re going to be when we grow up. Does that mean I’m not happy? Are you kidding? My days are chaotic, full of lots of tears and dirty diapers, exhausting, full of lots of preschool-crisis-control, and very long with very short nights. My life? I absolutely love it. I am right where God wants me to be. Yes, my current situation is kind of hairy and difficult, just trying to keep up with four little people who can’t do much for themselves. But those four little people have increased the laughter and joy in my life exponentially. I can’t imagine our family without any one of them, even the tiniest whom we’ve only known for 6 1/2 weeks. Four kids at 29? Never would have dreamed it possible. Four kids in five years? Would have laughed you out of the room. My four little munchkins? Bring it on, with lots of hugs and sticky kisses.
My two oldest woke me up this morning (that is, woke me up for the second time after Samuel had already done the official waking up) with a card, sour gummy worms, and a birthday song. Of course, they barely finished the song before they were begging to tear into the sour gummies, saying, “Daddy said you’d share!!” Then Elisabeth woke up, and even though she didn’t know it was a special day, even she seemed to give me a little longer snuggle then usual. Downstairs I had another card, a tiger beanie baby, and two books waiting on the table, left there by a husband who had already embarked on a bug killing spree. The major part of the birthday plans got foiled by the sickness of the babysitter, but my husband finally spilled the beans, and just knowing about the plans that, for the most part, aren’t going to materialize is enough to let me know that I am loved.
So now it is 9:00 am, and I’m trying to decide what would be fun to do today to make it a special day for me and those kiddos. I think we might actually brave the first solo outing today, since the fact that it’s my birthday is sure to cast some kind of magical charm around us and there will surely be no tears or mishaps, right? We’ll go pick up Samuel’s pictures and maybe even mosey on down to the other end of the mall and ride the merry-go-round and get a pretzel, two things they always beg for and we always say “no.” I’ll start packing our suitcases for our long-overdue trip to KY tomorrow, but other than that I think I’ll give myself permission to ignore all other housework that needs done. I’ll snuggle with Abigail and watch Barbie’s Princess and the Pauper at naptime. We’ll think of something easy to do for supper since we went out last night for an early birthday dinner, then head on to church. Later, I’ll snuggle on the couch again, this time with hubby and I’m sure I can convince him that he needs to give me a birthday backrub and hair-brushing session. Exciting day? Not so much. A good birthday? Absolutely.
Thank you, Lord, for the place you’ve brought me to celebrate 29 years. Thank you for the five indescribable blessings that share my daily life, that you let me call my own. Thank you, too, for all the others that I love that I get to see this weekend. My life and my heart are very full. You are a good God, good beyond description to me and mine. Dare I ask for more years of such joy and goodness? Let it be, Lord, let it be, and may the times that haven’t and won’t be so joyous continue to grow and mold and mature me into the woman you want me to be, so that the times of true joy are that much brighter. Thank you for the life you’ve given me through Christ. May I live it in such a way that pleases you.