If you give a Mom a recipe…

If you give a Mom a recipe, she’ll decide to fix it for her family. She’ll get out all the ingredients and set them on the counter.

When she gets them all set out, she’ll realize the counter is too cluttered.

She’ll begin to clear some space.

On her way through the living room to put away a book, she’ll notice the baby needs a diaper change. She’ll go into the bedroom and change the diaper.

While she’s in there, she’ll hear her daughters arguing, so she’ll hurry back to the kitchen to avoid having to referee.

She’ll begin pouring ingredients into a bowl.

As she pours, she’ll hear her phone ring. She’ll answer it to hear her husband ask her to look up a phone number for him.

She’ll go to the desk, find the number, text him back, and realize the desk is also very cluttered.

She’ll begin to clean the desk.

As she walks into the kitchen to put the scissors away, she’ll suddenly remember that she’s supposed to be fixing supper.

She’ll mix the ingredients in the bowl.

She’ll turn on the burner, heat the oil, and place the dinner in the skillet.

As it begins to sizzle, she’ll hear the telltale splashing sounds that mean the baby has decided to play in the dog’s water bowl again.

She’ll go remove the baby from the bathroom, to be thanked with screams of anger.

She’ll go back and give the dinner a good stir. As she does, she’ll hear suspicious-sounding chaos from the living room.

She’ll check it out to find another American Ninja Warrior training camp in progress, and the ceiling fan in danger of being used as a challenge.

She’ll restore order. Calmly. Or not.

She’ll go back to the stove to discover supper sticking to the bottom of the skillet. She’ll stir and stir.

She’ll dump supper out on the platter and spend the next ten minutes picking out the worst of the burnt parts.

While she’s salvaging what she can, she’ll ask the children to get ready to eat. Her husband will come home and fix the drinks.

They’ll sit down at the table.

The children will immediately look at the food she has prepared with fear and distrust, because it’s something they’ve never had before. Negotiations will commence.

Once the required number of bites for each child has been determined, they begin to eat. She and her husband will spend their meal alternating between taking bites and telling their children to take bites.

The baby will throw all her food on the floor, climb out of her seat, ask to sit in the Mom’s lap, and then eat bites off Mom’s plate instead.

The four-year-old will need to use the bathroom. Then, he’ll need his bottom wiped.

They’ll finally give a time limit for the required bites to be swallowed.

When the last bite is mercifully gone, she’ll clear the table. As she carries the last dish to the sink, she’ll hear her phone ding.

She’ll look at the message.

Someone has sent her a new recipe.

She’ll decide to fix it for her family.

And when she fixes it for her family, she’s going to go out to dinner.

By herself.

This entry was posted in How I Do What I Do, Motherhood, The Everyday and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to If you give a Mom a recipe…

  1. Courtney foster says:

    Please please please call me and let me go eat in peace with u! I promise i wont say a word, ill just sigh at the wonderful moment of not sharing a plate with anyone but my belly.

  2. momto3sugars says:

    Cute! I love the part about the baby in the dog’s water! But happens regularly at our house!!!

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